


Fools In Love

by calliopes_pen



Category: Hercules the Legendary Journeys
Genre: Yuletide, challenge:Yuletide 2006
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-25
Updated: 2006-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-14 13:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/515487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calliopes_pen/pseuds/calliopes_pen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aphrodite and Ares team up to get Strife and Cupid together...only things don't always go according to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fools In Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ssamizdat](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ssamizdat).



> Dedicated to Kevin Smith, the portrayer of Ares who died suddenly in 2002. Thanks go out to Seandc and Koshkaphoenix for beta reading.

 

 

Being the God of War was very hard work--and he should know, since he was the aforementioned God. Starting wars and attempting to encourage a few dozen (who was he kidding--more like a few _hundred_ , he thought with a smirk) warlords to go nuts with their pillaging and burning was tiring. Even if he wasn't getting any older, even an Immortal had to take a breather.

Which was why he had located, stolen, and laid himself across the best bed (and the gaudiest) in all of Greece. Perhaps even the world. He stretched and took a deep breath--only to feel something odd and wet touch his nose...cheeks...forehead...bringing him to full awareness and annoying him beyond belief. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and stared in disbelief at what was drifting next to him.

_Bubbles...and **feathers**? What in Hades--?! _

And that was when he heard it--giggling. Very distinct, vivacious and _familiar_ giggling that could only come from one person. With a glare, he turned toward Aphrodite, fully prepared to send her screaming back to Olympus, and out of his sight.

Except for one small problem--Aphrodite was naked. The only thing preventing a full monty in all her goddess glory were the aforementioned bubbles. Being her brother, Ares did the only thing one could do in such a situation--he fell off the bed in a frantic scramble to cover his bulging eyes, only to vanish and reappear behind her with the bed's blanket.

"Just...put something on, `Dite! Then, I want you to tell me just what in _Tartarus_ you are **doing here**. And why you couldn't get some clothes... _before_ you popped in from there."

The look of confusion that briefly crossed the Goddess of Love's face before she glanced down at herself was almost comical. However, the Goddess of Love was not known for her modesty at the best of times--to placate Ares, however, she merely rolled her eyes and zapped up something to cover herself.

With a smirk and a strangely seductive twirl that made him uncomfortable, Aphrodite calmly asked, "Better?"

"Much." After a moment of painful silence, Ares got down to business. "Now... _what_ are you _doing_ here?"

The barely there pink negligee _was_ actually better than nothing, but not by _much_. That was the only thing that Ares could think as he continued to glare. He wasn't in the mood to wait **all night** for the woman to explain herself.

With a pout, Aphrodite looked at Ares for a moment, before asking, "Can't a girl pop by for a visit with her favorite brother and tickle him with a feather?"

Someone really needed to talk to the woman about boundaries. Sure, the world had a few siblings together, but it got seriously creepy. **"No,"** he growled. "Since we're talking about you, no. Now tell me what you want before I decide to call someone to kick your pink little self all the way back to _Olympus._ "

Attempting her prettiest pout, Aphrodite flung herself down on the bed, and just stared at him for a moment--obviously either an attempt to further annoy Ares, or just her choosing being oblivious to everything except herself. While Ares wouldn't put the latter past her, he was ready to believe the former. _Finally_ , when Ares was just about to follow through on his threat, the goddess gave him a playful grin and stated, "You're not any fun. _Fine,_ I'll tell you. I have a plan."

And with that last word reverberating in his ears, Ares suspected (and dreaded) that things were about to take a horrific turn, even for him. Loss of powers? He could handle that by getting drunk. World peace? He could always fling himself from Olympus, after getting very drunk and starting a bar room brawl for old time's sake...but Aphrodite having a plan was the equivalent of him finally accepting Hercules--his own half-brother, falling in love with him, and settling down for a _long_ life together. Aphrodite couldn't sense his skepticism--at least, nothing besides the dark eyebrow that slowly lifted.

"Don't give me that look or I'll do everything _myself_!" With a strangely crafty yet pleading look, Aphrodite continued with a toss of her hair. "I-I'll probably start a family feud by mistake and you won't be able to take the blame for it! You _know_ I can do that!" When Ares didn't seem swayed, Aphrodite smiled and got even more personal. "Strife will come to visit you and _never_ leave if this doesn't work..."

Intriguing, disturbing and worse than torture--the Goddess of Love had a truly amazing penchant for messing with her brother's mind, and inciting him to violence with a mere gesture or wrong word. In this case, that wrong word was the idea of putting up with Strife following him forever like a little boy with a rag doll who worshipped him. With _that_ as incentive, he leaned just a bit closer to his sister, and gestured for her to continue.

Seeing his resolve crumbling just a bit, Aphrodite practically pounced and struck while she could. "Let's get our boys together. They cause enough mischief _apart_..." The phrase `because of us' was avoided--it didn't need to be said. While Strife _tried_ to be bad, he was genuinely horrible at it and Ares was always dragged down with him when things went awry. Of course, if his nephew was with someone else...

" _Our_ boys? I don't see Cupid getting with a `bad crowd' anymore, or going wild with his _quiver_. Is that jealousy of him that I see? Or is it desperation to make him leave your _precious_ nest?" And then, as if to defend the other demigod--or maybe even his own image--he threw in, "And Strife certainly didn't seem picky when choosing people last I checked!"

Presumably he hit the mark with something, because `Dite glared at him half-heartedly for a moment and smiled a strangely sad smile for her, before she went on as if nothing had been mentioned. _So jealousy it was, then_ , he thought with a dark smirk.

After a moment, Ares realized that she was expecting _him_ to come up with a battle plan ( _yes_ , he was already thinking of this as something like another war to fight) to get the two together. However, getting them both in the same place, and getting them to suddenly **like** each other were entire different things. Ares was briefly at a loss, and his sister most likely knew it, because she suddenly had a huge grin on her face.

"Maybe we can watch them--see what they like!" And with those words, a chill went down his spine. He didn't want to know what Strife's sex life was like. He was his _nephew_ , for Zeus' sake! Some things gods just weren't meant to know about other gods!

"Don't push it, Dite," he said with a glare, "or you might just find me cashing in a few... _favors_ that a friend owes me--and by this time next week you could be locked up tight as the newest addition in someone's very big harem."

The goddess' response? Merely a slap of his shoulder, and a jaunty "You're just an old softie, aren't you?" Had she chosen to pinch his cheeks, too, she would have been in for a world of pain. Knowing this, she smirked and walked away, gesturing him to follow her. He seethed and wondered if it wasn't worth risking the wrath of Zeus and selling her for a few dinars anyway.

_Nah. Not worth being flash fried by lightning_ , he thought as he glanced at a bit of darkening clouds. With the way his luck was going, he would probably get fried by a random lightning bolt compliments of Zeus or something.

And so it was that it came to pass that Aphrodite and Ares went to follow Strife and Cupid at separate times. While they had no real plan, they wanted to see how each would react to certain things that continually threw them together. While Aphrodite was the Goddess of Love, she seemed clueless on how to go about things naturally, _without_ their meddling.

"We need a strategy--why won't you admit it?!" They had been relegated to hiding in the bushes while doing their utmost best at watching Cupid, and glaring at anyone else that wandered too close. They had been forced to move to yet another piece of shrubbery when their last one had mysteriously caught fire. Thankfully, the flames hadn't caused any damage to Aphrodite; unfortunately for him, it had singed Ares' hair a bit, and the occasional waft of smoke drifted up from the back of his pants.

A long suffering sigh escaped from him, and he simply ignored the laughter from his unashamed sister. At least _she_ still had most of one of her eyebrows. However, the strangest part of this whole adventure would have to be the man, followed by a strangely loyal flock of sheep, talking to the burning bush. After witnessing _that_ , it was unanimously decided it would be best to move elsewhere.

_And I thought **we** were insane for doing **this**..._

The next stone in their wheel occurred when they chose to split up. They vowed to meet beneath the tallest tree when the sun reached its highest point, and the shadows reached a certain length, and report on their progress.

_Unfortunately_ , Aphrodite couldn't read a sun dial properly and somehow ended up at the wrong tree and the wrong time, and the wrong place. When Ares finally managed to locate her (approximately 2 hours after noon using a sun dial), he actually laughed with delight, and didn't stop for some time.

The Goddess of Love was covered head to toe in mud and...she had obviously stepped in something that was very smelly.

" _What_ happened to you?!" The god was positively ecstatic at the thought that she had ruined her outfit and hair. It obviously hadn't occurred to her yet to magically change clothes, so Ares vowed to silently enjoy this spectacle while he could.

With a sheepish grin, Aphrodite began to tell a tale of falling in the mud, being trampled by horses, and falling in their excrement. Finally getting a good look at Ares himself, she raised one delicately smeared eyebrow. "And you?"

Equally uncomfortable, Ares rubbed the back of his neck. "Pecked by some wayward hawks--they apparently didn't want to see me in their territory. Not our day, huh?"

Before Aphrodite could respond, the two of them heard laughter and a small grunt coming from a small bit of underbrush, and exchanged a glance. The brush itself was shaking. They were both thinking the same thing.

"That laugh is _familiar_..."

Unbeknownst to the god and goddess, Strife and Cupid were together even as they spoke...they had been together for quite some time, actually. For the first time in his life, Strife was able to keep a secret, and Cupid hadn't even needed to use an arrow or threat on him once. They had even led Ares and Aphrodite on a wild goose chase without even _realizing_ it, as they met for secret rendezvous.

Unfortunately, in the middle of a bit of fun, they had a strange feeling that eyes were on them. They heard the sounds of the brush being parted and a strangled groan of shock.

And before the two could do much of anything, Strife and Cupid were horrified to discover that they were being watched. Even more horrified to slowly look up and see Ares, God of War--a bit worse for the wear, singed at the edges of his attire, and ragged--slowly waving at them with an evil grin. He looked like he was plotting their slow demise--or perhaps considering what today's menu for brunch would be. He had the same expression on his face.

Strife was the one to speak first, with an awkward wave and a "Hey, Unc. What's up?" He clapped a hand over his mouth to restrain any awkward laughing threatening to escape. His dark hair was wildly disarrayed, making it quite obvious that they had been on the verge of something the Goddess of Love could only approve of. Cupid just shook his head and chose to remain silent; knowing nothing good could come of this, he didn't want to cause any more grief.

_They were already together. They...were...already...together...What a **WASTE OF TIME**!_

Slowly turning toward his sister, the now severely aggravated God of War gave her her one and only warning, with a dark growl. "I just want you to know, that if this little `incident' ever gets back to my brother I hold you personally responsible." The god was coming across a combination of incensed, sarcastic, and ready to kill.

As he stomped away with a look of fury, he could have sworn he had heard `Dite say, "Don't worry, it will," along with a very mischievous chuckle. Knowing her, she would leave out her own humiliations.

Vanishing from the scene as quickly as possible, he decided it was just the right time to go start a small civil war in a lesser known country. It might make him feel better, and nobody could blame him except _Hercules_ or one of his friends. It was a small miracle that he hadn't gone completely berserk and destroyed all of Olympus as it was.

Hercules would mock him the next time he faced him, he just _knew_ it...

_I **really** deserve a war...and if Hercules ever mentions this to me because of something Aphrodite said, there will be pain, and blood, and **vengeance**. Oh, yes. There will be pain._

The End 

 

 

 


End file.
